SADDAM HUSSEIN

Like an insect, I am small but indestructible. Economic sanctions, smart bombs, and the rhetoric of weaklings; these things roll off my back like water off a turtle.s shell. Are you sure I am in My cell? Do you know where I am George W. Bush? If you want to kill me you have to find me first. I have drained the Great Marshes of Iraq. They stink of Shiites. My footprints in the sands of Kuwait left a trail of fire. The thought of me brings tears of gas to Kurdish eyes. I believe in a strong leadership helped by trusted thugs. Please, please, please let me be your leader. I want my face painted on buildings from New York to Singapore, statues of me standing in Cape Town and London.

Accomplishments:
- I recognize the importance of a strong family; America is lead by a family like mine.
- I have helped the world see through their hypocrisy.
- Germany and France understand me.
- I have come to see that I am beautiful for who I am. Psychological therapy has helped me accept myself. You need to see my therapist.