MAO TSE-TUNG

In 1966 I had the opportunity to attend a "Happening" directed by the Fluxus artist, Yoko Ono. It was there that I met several key figures of a global, avant-garde elite, including John Lennon of the Beatles.
At this event, I came to realize the full extent of how intellectuals corrupt the Power of Youth. Speaking with these degenerates eventually led to my being escorted from the party. John Lennon
later snubbed me in his song, "Revolution". With these things on my mind, I came up with the idea of a "Cultural Revolution", where youth would regain their power in the form of a Red Guard. I met one million of these youth later in 1966 and the transformation began. For ten years our work was written in blood on the Walls of History. By voting for me we would continue our work. Think of what we could do together; force an imprisoned Yoko Ono to put a gun to the two remaining Beatles, then finish her work as a performance artist, Phil Collins, Madonna, Britney Spears, I mean, come on! Enough of this tyranny from a dynasty of mediocre, western Pop Stars! If you make me Global President we may find quiet at last.

Accomplishments:
- No where else in history have one million, young, nubile hotties gathered in one man's name to inaugurate ten years of suffering.
- I am personally mentioned in a Beatles song.
- I have met Yoko Ono
- I hate artists.